Apples of Gold

I dread the lapse of the quinquennium that requires a trip to the DMV to renew my driver’s license. In fact the address on my license is from 2 residences ago! The expiration date is rapidly approaching and updating it will become unavoidable in the near future. 

Typically the lines are long and rather slow moving. I find myself comparing the mound of documentation in my hand, to the list of approved items in hopes that nothing will be disqualified as I wait in line for a number that will actually put me in the proper line. When my turn finally comes I hold my breath as each document is scoured and the finish line is on the horizon. I’m not sure if some of the workers are pickier than others, but sometimes they send me home empty-handed to hunt for more documentation. 

None of us likes to be turned away because we were not as prepared as we should have been. At times we let this feeling seep into our spiritual lives. Our time with the Lord has been dry and neglected. It feels as though we are trying to serve God and minister to others with empty hands and hearts. 

Realizing that David experienced this same struggle brings hope to my parched soul:

A Psalm of David, regarding a time when David was in the wilderness of Judah.

O God, you are my God; I earnestly search for you. My soul thirsts for you; my whole body longs for you in this parched and weary land where there is no water. Psalm 63:1

I forgot to water my outdoor plants during some of this atrociously hot weather and as you can imagine they did not do very well. Two of them were in a spot where the rain couldn’t reach them and the colorful blooms were reduced to a pot of dried up twigs with no signs of life!

There are days when I neglect to partake of the Living Water and find myself in desperate need of rescue from a desert of my own making.

From the depths of despair, O LORD, I call for your help. Hear my cry, O Lord. Pay attention to my prayer. LORD, if you kept a record of our sins, who, O Lord, could ever survive? Psalm 130:1-3

The depths of despair is a place we all visit on occasion. Proverbs tells us:

Hope deferred makes the heart sick. Proverbs 13:12

When we take our eyes off the Savior in the middle of a struggle our trust wavers and hope follows like its shadow.  If we don’t recognize this process in the earliest stages we can find ourselves angry, discouraged and disheartened in the middle of the Sahara with no relief in sight. 

Is it just me or does condemnation often come next? If only I was more disciplined. If only I wasn’t so tired, or easily distracted, or so ridiculously overcommitted. The reminder that the gentle tug on my heart is evidence of the Father’s desire to quench my thirst and rekindle my flame, brings with it a glimmer of hope, reviving my spirit like a gentle shower following an extended draught.

But you offer forgiveness, that we might learn to fear you. I am counting on the LORD; yes, I am counting on him. I have put my hope in his word. I long for the Lord more than sentries long for the dawn, yes, more than sentries long for the dawn. Psalm 130:4-6

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed. The righteous person faces many troubles, but the LORD comes to the rescue each time. Psalm 34:18-19

Perhaps realizing we have been caught empty-handed isn’t such a bad place to be. God is not looking for a list of our qualifications but rather our acknowledgment that our very breath is in his hands. When surrender brings comfort rather than fear we are on the right track. 

Augustus Toplady was on to something when he penned these words:

Nothing in my hand I bring,

Simply to the cross I cling.

We are unworthy but not unwanted. The sacrifice required by God was completely fulfilled in the work of Jesus on the cross. When we approach God empty-handed he is not disappointed. Empty hands provide room for God to work. 

May we approach the throne of God without hesitation, declaring our dependency on his mercy and choosing to trust him.

You do not desire a sacrifice or I would offer one. You do not want a burnt offering. The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God. Psalm 51:16-17