Apples of Gold

I remember playing the game “Telephone” when I was growing up. A message was passed around a group of children, whispered from ear to ear. When it reached the final player they would say it out loud for the group to hear and then the original message would be spoken. More often than not by the time it reached the end of the line the message was jumbled up and either made no sense at all or was quite altered from it’s original state. At times we would go back through the group, attempting to figure out how this transformation had taken place. Frequently the evolution was slow, a missed word here or there but sometimes it was clear that one person had really messed things up. This can be entertaining when we are playing a game but it can be more diabolical in real life.

Healthy communication can be tricky. Even the Apostle Paul ran into this problem. Paul’s first letter to the Thessalonians talked about the return of Christ potentially occurring at any moment. Apparently some people read his letter and assumed that they could quit working and just wait for the Rapture. He actually wrote 2 Thessalonians partially to correct that thought.

Jesus’ arrival on earth was misunderstood. Herod thought he was there to take his throne away. When he grew up and started his ministry many thought he was going to be a military conqueror-well, to their credit, they only got the timing off on that one.

I learned a technique several years ago, I think originally I heard it from my husband. After having a discussion with someone if you want to be sure they heard what you were actually trying to say, have them tell you what they heard. The responses can be quite eye-opening. We could probably avoid a lot of heartache if we took the time to make sure we were communicating clearly. Miscommunication often breeds assumption and offense.

Have you ever wished there was a rewind button for our words? I think we all have moments when we open our mouths before our brain has a chance to fully engage. Rarely is this a positive experience. There were probably a few times that Peter felt this way. Luke records one of these instances at the Transfiguration of Jesus.

Suddenly, two men, Moses and Elijah, appeared and began talking with Jesus. They were glorious to see. And they were speaking about his exodus from this world, which was about to be fulfilled in Jerusalem. Peter and the others had fallen asleep. When they woke up, they saw Jesus’ glory and the two men standing with him. As Moses and Elijah were starting to leave, Peter, not even knowing what he was saying, blurted out… Luke 9:30-33

Sometimes silence really is golden. I cringe when I read those words because I can relate. I tend to replay awkward conversations in my head and chastise myself for even opening my mouth. “Why did I say that?” These events are a tad embarrassing but often only our pride is wounded. Regrettably, there are times where we purposely blurt out words which are laced with toxic intent. In a moment of weakness, exhaustion, frustration, or just plain meanness; unkind words find their intended target and inflict irreversible damage. James describes the capacity for damage that resides in our tongues.

Among all the parts of the body, the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself. People can tame all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and fish, but no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison. Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God. James 3:6-9

When I was growing up my grandmother had a stainless steel popcorn popper. I believe we were making popcorn balls for some special occasion, and somehow my hand collided with the popper. The pain was immediate and severe. Even though we treated it quickly and carefully a dark patch appeared on my hand. The initial pain subsided over time but the healing process continued for years. I was left with a discolored mark that is still partially visible.

We all likely carry scars, sometimes even from decades ago, that were inflicted on us by the words of another. The impact of the shock and pain can sometimes knock the wind out of us. Once we catch our breath we often find a discolored patch burned into our hearts and minds. Our words, intentionally or not, have probably deeply wounded others as well. Damaged, disfunctional, and even discarded relationships are often the result of miscommunication. It is often easier to walk away hurt and angry then it is to tackle the issue. Over the years I have found when a deep hurt has taken place and someone takes the first step to reconcile, almost without exception, the response of the other is also positive-not only does the relationship become mended but the bond is often strengthened. How many friendships have suffered for years because neither party was willing to humble themselves and apologize?

God takes unresolved conflict more seriously than we do. He expects us to have healthy interaction with others. The heart that wants to please God cannot carry grudges or neglect to make amends with those their words have injured. Jesus gives us some instructions in this area that we rarely follow:

So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God. Matthew 5:23-24

During this season let’s do our part to have “Peace on Earth” by prioritizing the repair of broken relationships.