Apples of Gold

In Bible College I was given the opportunity to work as a secretary for one of the ministry departments for a short time. During this time I was included in meetings that allowed me to see beyond the surface of the inner workings of ministry. It was both disturbing and enlightening as the humanity of leaders that I admired was visible from time to time. It turns out that these men and women were not superheroes in disguise but that in fact they were fallible, human beings, giving their all to equip the next generation to impact the world for Christ. 

While we know intellectually that no one is perfect, we occasionally  find ourselves demanding this unrealistic, in fact impossible, standard from others, and ironically, even from ourselves.

If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. If we claim we have not sinned, we are calling God a liar and showing that his word has no place in our hearts. 1 John 1:8-10

I’m not exactly sure why, but for many women the dreaded notification “your slip is showing” prompts a hasty and mortifying retreat to privacy in order to rectify the situation. 

If you spend enough time with someone you will find that eventually their “slip will show”. Yours will likely show as well. Peter found himself in this position:

When Peter came to Antioch, I (Paul) had to oppose him to his face, for what he did was very wrong. Galatians 2:11

Notice Paul went directly to Peter, dealt head on with the issue and it is not mentioned again. Peter was not removed from his position in shame and disgrace. It appears that he acknowledged his faux pas, rectified it and continued to be a very effective minister of the Gospel.

These times actually reveal much more than a weakness in the life of a believer. The biggest revelation actually follows. How we respond during a time of struggle and offense shows much more about our true character and spiritual maturity.

In a culture where offense frequently leads to immediate termination of the relationship, blocking, unfriending, and sometimes even tarnishing their reputation; we are called to something harder.

Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one anther, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32

When we care enough about each other to take the time and effort to work through offenses and hurts something pretty amazing happens. It’s called spiritual maturity. 

Over the years I have learned a few things by sticking around after having my toes stepped on. I have also been fortunate enough to have someone give me the benefit of the doubt when I have stepped on theirs.  

Most offenses are unintentional. A communication failure lurks behind many hurts. Often this misfire is not one-sided but rather two fallible people inaccurately, or insensitively expressing their thoughts. 

Most offenses come at a moment of weakness. When the pressure is on we are much more likely to be snippy. Recognizing an out of character response rarely occurs in isolation can save us a lot of trouble. If we can look deeper before responding in kind we will likely find they are operating in crisis mode and in desperate need of some grace and support. 

Most offenses can be quickly decelerated. 

A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare. Proverbs 15:1

The maturing process is messy. True repentance demands true forgiveness. God is always after reconciliation. 

I am in them and you are in me. May they experience such perfect unity that the world will know that you sent me and that you love them as much as you love me. John 17:23

We all have a slip. From time to time it is going to show. I hope and pray that I am surrounded by those who will gently correct and lead me back to the right path rather than point out my shame or sever the relationship. 

We all have a responsibility to each other:

So watch yourselves! If another believer sins, rebuke that person; then if there is repentance, forgive. Even if that person wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and ask forgiveness, you must forgive. Luke 17:3-4

It is hard to argue with the words of Jesus. We are supposed to keep an eye out for the low-hanging slips! We are also required to seek restoration and reconciliation whenever possible. The goal is edification not humiliation. Putting out a fire is much less complicated if you catch it as a spark. 

When it is our turn to receive correction, may God give us the grace to appreciate those who speak truth to us. May our first response be to head directly to the secret place to straighten things out, followed quickly by any necessary relational repairs.  

In dealing with each other let grace be our go to. Give it today, you might need it tomorrow!