Apples of Gold

When our middle daughter, Kendyll, started doing gymnastics; before she was allowed to hit the mat we were required to sign a hold harmless agreement releasing the gym and coaches from liability in case she took an unplanned tumble. This is pretty much common practice today, due mainly to the litigious nature of our current culture. It stands in stark contrast to my childhood days. Seat belts were optional and rarely used. Car seats and bike helmets might have been in existence but I never saw them, much less used one. In fact, anyone wearing a bicycle helmet would probably have been labeled a sissy and run out of town! Our school playgrounds were actually quite dangerous when you reflect upon it. Large chunks of bumpy concrete surrounded the poles on the swings and slides. The metal surface of the slippery slides were probably hot enough to fry an egg on a sunny day; and the monkey bars were often over concrete, providing an ideal surface to scrape knees and break bones. 

The conscious effort to reduce the risk of injury should be applauded although the attempt to completely eliminate risk is an insurmountable task.The attempt to protect yourself at all costs has crossed over into the realm of relationships as well. We have all seen the meme’s and scrolled past the posts declaring the obliteration of friendships that do not serve our purposes. “I am not going to keep texting first”, “If I’m not your priority, you won’t be mine either”. While on the surface this might sound reasonable, Jesus shares a divine perspective:

You have heard the law that says the punishment must match the injury: An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth. But I say, do not resist an evil person! If someone slaps you on the right cheek, offer the other cheek also. If you are sued in court and your shirt is taken from you, give your coat, too. If a soldier demands that you carry his gear for a mile, carry it two miles. Give to those who ask, and don’t turn away from those who want to borrow. Matthew 5:38-42

We have probably all dodged someone at the grocery store lacking the time or energy to converse with them, especially if we knew they were going to ask for something. The difference between what we want and what we know we should do can cause us to stumble from time to time. 

Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it. James 4:17

Okay, this can be a hard one. When I find myself in desperate need of something to eat and a nap and someone needs immediate care, whether it is just a few kinds words and a smile, a listening ear and prayer, or even taking the time to help clean up after a long ministry event; the pull to step away can be pretty strong. Including someone in our plans, not for what they will give to us, but with the hope of somehow being a blessing to them can be a sacrifice. Time is a valuable commodity and we often choose not to “waste” it on those we assume have little to offer to us.

As followers of Jesus we are called to put others before ourselves. Not just people we like, or get along with, but everyone.

You have heard the law that says, Love your neighbor and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike. If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that. But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect. Matthew 5:43-48

Friendship is not a balance scale with both parties carefully measuring their output and gain to ensure equality. It is healthy to have a variety of relationships. Some require you to give more and others may give more than you deserve. Some swing back and forth between the two. When we expect more from ourselves than those around us we will find it much easier to live in a state of contentment.

Here’s a final challenge from the parallel passage from the book of Luke:

But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Luke 6:35

It’s kind of like a living hold harmless agreement. Doing what is right whether it is well received or not. Giving even when someone has nothing to give back. Loving even when that love is not returned. Really it is Christianity 101 and yet it is also an advance placement course when we truly attempt to live by this standard.